What I was thinking when we were all at the hotel together

I was sweating uncontrollably. Partially because it was about a million degrees outside, but partially because I knew I had to break the news to Tom somehow. I had an idea of what I wanted to say but I didn't know exactly how to say it. I started to get second thoughts, too. It was fun sneaking around, and no one really knew what was going on? If people didn't know what was happening was it really hurting them?

I wanted to out of the whole thing, but my pride wouldn't let me. What kind of man would I be to Daisy if I chickened out. I needed to stand up to Tom. That would show the both of them that I was worthy of her love. I knew it was go-time. I looked over at Daisy, gave her a slight head nod and a wink to signal that we were going to carry this out. We were going to get this over with right now, and in five minutes, maybe less, we were going to rush home, pack our bags, and set out on our brand new life together.

I straightened out my tie, fixed my hair, and grabbed a drink. I approached Tom, halfway done my drink. I looked him in the eyes- and I saw a worried man. It was as if he knew what was going on, and he felt he could do nothing to save himself. This excited me, and made me even more confident in what I was about to do. I stepped back, finished my drink, and ran through my lines one last time Then I came back up to Tom to settle all of this once and for all.

What I was thinking when I first met Tom

I knew who he was. Heck, I lived across from him. Plus I was in love with his wife. So I didn't really need a formal introduction to Tom Buchanan, even though I was given one. I was polite of course, and I looked him in the eye and smiled as I shook his hand. "Dang these hands have probably touched Daisy" I thought. But then I smiled because I knew my hands had been touching her too. I started to smile, and almost winked, but I didn't because that blew my cover. He said "It's nice to meet you" and I said "You too Old Sport!" But what I meant was "you have no idea the things I've been doing with your girl." It was quite raunchy, but it was the truth.

We had a nice conversation at that party, but I wasn't paying much attention nor giving any good answers because I was so busy dreaming up scenarios in my head where Daisy and I run away together. I wish I could've seen the look on his face when he heard out that his love ran off with another man. Boy, that would do a number to his confidence wouldn't it. Of course, that never happened, but it would still have been a great scene to witness.

We finished up our conversation, said our goodbyes, and as he turned around to enjoy the rest of the party, I searched around for Daisy to see if she wanted to sneak outside so we could enjoy the party by ourselves.

I only expected to see Tom Buchanan one time after that night- and I did. However, things didn't go exactly how I had wanted them to.

What I was thinking right after George shot me

I had been sensing something all day. My stomach kept telling me that something was up, something wasn't right. But this was coming in the midst of everything that had just happened in the past few hours. I had lost Daisy, and I had covered up for her after she had killed Myrtle. I needed a mental break, and I was certain swimming was the right thing to do.

I dove into my pool. I felt the cool water rush all over my face. It was what I needed, quite frankly. I came up for air, and heard the faint ringing of a telephone. I told my butler to go answer the phone, as I was certain it was Daisy. I guess that's when George was able to get close enough to me to get a shot off. I climbed up the little ladder in the water as my butler approached the phone. I was preparing to hop out of the pool and grab the phone as soon as I heard, "yes Mr. Gatsby is around."

But that's when it happened.

I heard a loud "bang", and not two seconds later I felt a tightening in my chest. I ran my finger over my left pectoral and felt a large hole. I knew that this was the end- there was no way I was going to survive a bullet straight to the heart. I felt resented and angered. There was so much that I wanted to do in my life that I hadn't gotten to do yet. I thought about Daisy and how she was supposed to call today. We were going to run off together despite what had happened in that hotel room. How would I even know that she had called? Was that even her on the phone? I start to fall backwards into the water. As my eyes shut for the last time, Nick came into my mind. I thought about our last conversation. He had said something so nice to me, but I couldn't remember. In fact, I think it was the only real compliment he had ever given me. If I had known that would be our last encounter, I would've said some much nicer things before he had gone.

I hit the water and began to sink to the bottom. Everything was so sudden. And this, this is not how I wanted to go out of this world. Not in this way.

What I was feeling on the car ride home with Daisy

I wasn't sure what had just happened. That day was like any other, everything seemed normal. I was even more confident than I had been with Daisy and I was certain I had claimed her love forever, and I was determined to rub that in Tom's face.

However, what came from that meeting hit me like a brick wall- and I'm still stunned.

Riding with her now was a punch in the face. It was his way of showing the whole world that I couldn't hurt him, that I wasn't good enough. I was so close to her, yet I couldn't touch her or talk to her- it would make everything worse. I didn't want to look at her either- it would bring all those feelings back that were crushed just minutes before. She was disgusted with me, but I found no good reason for it. If you really love someone can't you get over their flaws? Can't you accept the things they do wrong but find it in your heart to take them back? Face it, we all struggle with something, and my addiction was her- I couldn't kick it.

Then I looked at her again, and all the blue sorrow in the pit of my being erupted into red-hot fury. I wish I could've blasted out all my thoughts to her, but I pounded my head with them instead. Wasn't this what you wanted? This was the lifestyle you adored wasn't it? Weren't you happy? I thought you couldn't get enough of me. But instead you let go when you feel threatened, just to please someone. You can only say no to me can't you? My face grew tense and I could feel my knuckles clench. I wish she knew how I felt, but I wasn't going to let her see me like this. My head was overcome with rage at this point. I didn't understand, and that's what made it all worse. Well shame on you for all of this! This isn't my fault. You're not perfect yourself, you know, but that didn't bother me. I stood by your side when I could've easily left with good reason, too! Now you treat me like this, leaving me stunned and heartbroken. He doesn't even love you, he's just saying those things. I treated you much better than he did in a much smaller amount of time and you know it too. I deserve so much better but-

In the midst of my internal fit I didn't even notice where she was driving- and that's when she hit her. I hadn't even noticed but I could tell by the look on her face that something had happened. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that she was dead now, and there wasn't a doubt in my mind that this would scar Daisy for a long time either. Someone had to take the blame for this. Although no one on the outside really knew what happened, they were going to find out through a one sided story. That's when I decided to take the blame, even though it would have been so easy to rat her out- it would all be karma. But I knew I wasn't like that, and I knew that deep down, despite everything I had thought, said, and felt, a piece of me was inside of her. And when you care for someone that much, you sometimes have to suffer a little bit to hope that things turn out fine.

What I was feeling at tea with Daisy

Never before had I prepared so much for an event in my life before this one. It may have only been a simple tea date for an hour or two in the afternoon, but for me this was my chance to regain what I had lost five years ago. I spent about three hours the night before selecting the perfect shirt to wear, not to mention the extra hour to find shoes that matched and a solid half an hour to find a nice belt. I had to find something that would make me look extra muscular, that matched nicely, felt great, looked amazing, of course, but most of all, it had to scream out Wealth. I was wide awake the whole night, but I was dreaming of the great things that could come out of the next day's events.

Then, it came. I eagerly watched the clock count down the hours until her arrival. I heard her car pull into the drive and my stomach dropped- not because I was scared or worried, but more that the time had come upon me so quickly. Was I nervous? No! Gatsby never gets nervous. But then she walked in. That blonde hair covered her eyes like a velvet veil. Our eyes met but I pulled them away quickly. I wasn't ready to be in strong, beautiful presence yet. Then I looked back at her, and after multiple mental reps I was able to make out some words, but to this day I'm still not sure what I said.

I could see it in her eyes that she too was at a loss for words. Nick tried to break the ice, but the silence was imminent. When he got up and left, my body was hit by a warm rushing wave and I gained the strength to start some small talk. From there, everything took off. We verbally felt each other out for a while until we gelled, and the conversation was flowing like a steady stream of cool lava. We smiled. laughed, told jokes, and recalled old memories from the past that lit the room up. I looked into her eyes one last time as Nick walked back in the room and I fell in love with her again, just like I did every day five years ago.

What I was thinking when I first found out about Nick

Have you ever been watching a cartoon or something on TV and the villain/antagonist in the story gets a dastardly idea and a wicked smile stretches across their face? I had a moment exactly like that when I heard that young Nick Carraway was coming to West Egg. I had developed an unhealthy obsession for Daisy Buchanan, my old love from before the War, who broke my heart. I needed her and I wanted her- badly. Oh one more thing about her- she is Nick's cousin. It was all so easy now. I had thought of so many ways to meet her, invite her over, and impress her with my lavish lifestyle. None of these attempts had worked so far, however. But now, now, it was all set. I could have Nick invite her for dinner or something, to my house, and then I'll be right there, standing in all my wealth and glory, and she'll fall in love with me once again (she always did have a thing for money). Plus, if her cousin is just inviting her for a nice bite to eat, it'll seem pretty harmless. I won't have to worry about that behemoth Tom Buchanan getting suspicious. We'll be able to start a nice affair all to ourselves, and will have plenty of time to ourselves without anyone finding out- and even if they do, we will have time to enjoy ourselves. Daisy will be all mine soon, and a major piece of me will be filled once again.